Tuesday, January 24, 2006
::: Gahmen Mounts Large Defensive Exercise:::
hi. ur resident lamer again and here is a lame report on the exerise drill.
Following its recent large-scale terrorist attack drill, the Gahmen this week mounted an island-wide defensive exercise, the largest since the last general elections.
This exercise, dubbed “Exercise Total Defensiveness”, involved a simulated detonation of several time bombs implanted in opposition party manifestos, wherein thousands of unsuspecting citizens were devastated, rocking the country to its core.
Upon detonation, the Singapore Civil Service Defensive Farce (SCSDF) immediately swung into action, forming panels and committees to ensure that citizens were shielded from harmful information.
MPs also handed out care packages to those wounded by past economic policies, as well as cash bonuses to NSMen who might be suffering trauma after learning that $5000 and piano lessons could exempt them from national service.
Animal rescue units were also deployed, consisting mainly of running dogs, in honour of this year’s Chinese horoscope.
Impartial observers of the exercise said that citizens should not be unduly alarmed as the detonation of the time bombs was only a simulation, consisting mostly of sound and fury.
However, according to Gahmen spokesman Mr. Gerry Mandhir, “In the interests of maintaining our security, we have to show how fast we can react to attacks on our system and way of life. This exercise has proven how truly reactionary we are.”
Mr. Mandhir also dismissed criticism that Manpowder Minister Ng Eng Cock’s deliberate use of the term ‘time bomb’ to describe the Workers Party Manifesto was exploiting current jitters over terrorism.“We would never compare Mr. Lowsama, I mean, Mr. Low Thia Khiang, to a terrorist,” said Mr. Mandhir.
The next such defensive exercise will be held soon, and is believed to involve the use of defamation suits to protect against the use of polemical weapons.
“To fight against threats to our nation, Singapore needs to be united,” said Mr. Mandhir. “Preferably under a single constituency, say, Marine Parade.”
zy at 8:35:00 PM
